Movie Review: World's Greatest Dad

HDNET is owned by the same company as Magnolia Pictures. In an attempt to gain subscribers, they show a sneak preview on their movie channel of upcoming limited theatrical releases. This month’s movie is called “World’s Greatest Dad”. The movie is written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, yes the guy from Police Academy is making movies. The movie stars Robin Williams as a single parent, aspiring writer, high school teacher with a porn addicted shithead of a son named Kyle. **SPOILER ALERT** The ass hole kid dies from auto-erotic asphyxiation (jerking to up-skirt pics of his dad’s girlfriend) and the “World’s Greatest Dad” covers it up to make it look like a suicide. When the phony suicide note is released to the school populous, the once hated Kyle becomes the most popular kid in school. Robin capitalizes on this new found popularity and ghost writes Kyle’s journal which rockets him into stardom.
**SAFE TO READ**
Robin Williams delivers yet another great performance. This movie has some great characters, a great story and never hesitates to go where conventional films will not. Final thoughts rent this movie if you can, because it is likely there will not be a wall of copies at Blockbuster. I will give it 4 out of 5 German Shizer Videos.

Drink Recipe: Dirty Bananas

While on my vacations to Jamaica I picked up this recipe for a great summer drink. Enjoy

Ingredients:
1 ounce rum-based coffee liqueur
1 ounce rum cream (hard to find)
2 ounces milk
1/2 ounce simple syrup (a mixture of 1/2 water and 1/2 sugar that is simmered until sugar is dissolved)
1/2 banana (ripe)
1 cup ice

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a blender. Blend for 1 minute, or until desired consistency. Serve in a frosted mug.

TV Review: Shark Tank

I normally veg out the last few hours of the weekend on my couch in preparation for the weekend. It’s always a struggle to find something to watch this time of year. I stumbled upon this new summer replacement on ABC called the Shark Tank. The show places desperate entrepreneurs in front of a panel of blood thirsty investors. You might think the fact that these people are on television would make the want to cut honest deals with these people…not a chance. If they aren’t berating someone for wasting their money on a stupid idea they are presenting them with unreasonable investment deals. Much like a shark they can smell blood a mile away. The sadist in me loves this. Example: There was a 30 something school teacher who had invented a teaching tool. The tool utilizes songs he wrote to teach Shakespeare over rock style music. The entire teaching tool was complete; booklets, teachers manual, music and all. He was looking for 500,000 dollars for 15% of the business. The counter offer was 500,000 and 5% of royalties on the music he wrote and composed for 100% of the company spread across the entire panel. One of the panelist piped up with another offer, much to the chagrin of the other panelists. His rational was that their offer was absurd and that the guy would never be stupid enough to take it. Mind you this is all said in front of the teacher. He walked away to think, came back and made another counter offer to which the panel quickly dismissed. The panel saw that this man truly desired to be rich. So much so that he was willing to give up all of his hard work so quickly to get there. The worst thing was how they discussed how much of a stupid bad deal that was for that guy as they slapped fives. Check it out for yourself. It’s an interesting show, but I don’t think it will be on for long.

Anna Maria Surf

Here is a little video I made out of the pics and video I took on Sunday before we left the island. The surfers were out in full for due to the depression that formed that night. These guys arn't exactly shredding it up but it's still cool. I put a live cut of Sublime's "Bad Fish" underneath so crank up your speakers.

Movie Review: District 9

After much thinking, I am ready to give my review of District 9. My friend texted me right after I had seen it and all I could say is that it was very cool. Amber’s opinion was that it was weird. I agreed with her, but weird does not always equal bad. Now that I have given the movie sufficient time to set in I am going to say I liked it…a lot. It is probably one of my top five of the year. The story is very original, the effects are cool and I really like that South African accent (like a cross between Australian and French/German). The hesitation in my feelings comes from a couple of things. The lead character becomes infected by alien DNA and sets the movie into this manic tail spin. This, along with the inconsistency of camera styles wore me out. The director meshes documentary/interview, CCTV and third person styles of filming and it takes a little time to get used to. After you see your first guy get vaporized, you notice this less and less. District 9 will not have you leaving the theater with the warm and fuzzies, (no Randy Quade yelling “I’m back” while kamikaze style blowing up a spaceship) but it will have you thinking about what it was you just saw.
Side story…I saw some friends of mine walk into the theater and Amber did the whole “Hey I know you” thing. When the movie was over we waited for them to come out, but they never did. I texted her to see what happened and she said she walked out within the first 10 minutes. She said it was the worst movie she had ever seen. Lesson: I know now to never ask for her opinion on movies.
Final thoughts…go see this movie, but stay longer than 10 minutes even if you start to feel the urge to leave(crazy ass women). I give this movie 4.5 popping aborted prawn babies

Review: Revolutionary Road

If you like your movies incredibly depressing (i.e. Requiem For A Dream), Revolutionary Road will be right up your alley. This dark period piece could be a peak into the married life of any of us. It's about a couple stuck in the monotony of suburban life. The main characters even describe it as hopeless emptiness. A wannabe actress, a smooth talker in a dead-end job along with their seldom seen two kids are struggling to find their true happiness. To break free of their self imposed shackles they devise a plan to run off to Paris. This is where the fun of the movie occurs. The arguments feel just a little over the top at times but they keep you engrossed. Of the big name cast members, it's actually the "mentally ill" son of Kathy Bates character that stole the show for me.
Final thoughts...if you are in the mood for a good old fashion writs cut, rent Revolutionary Road. I'll give it 4 self administered abortions

Review: Funny People

First impression, I really liked this movie. It has it all. It's vulgar, a little dark, it invokes emotion and it has a pretty good story. Now let me add my real two cents. (SPOILER ALERT) They should have killed George off. That would have ended the movie about an hour sooner which they needed to any way. No comedy should ever be two and a half hours long...period. Apatow's first, The 40 Year Old Virgin, clocks in at just over two hours and I remember thinking that shit was too long as well. That being said, I would not have killed off the main character just to end to movie sooner. It makes the whole thing more memorable. You would have everyone in that theater walking out with tears in their eyes like Adam Sandler had really died. You play a little montage of funny moments over some good music as the credits roll to lighten it up a bit and BAM.... People would be talking about it all the way to their cars. Instead people are just wondering where the hell they parked because they have been in a movie theater for two and a half damn hours.
Final thoughts...go see this movie, just make sure your significant other takes the "big purse" and fills it with plenty of snacks. I'll give it 4 quick trips to the bathroom
Don't forget to Check out the Raaaaaaaandy stuff.

Zom-Com story board for London's bitch ass

This is my rebuttal video to London's story board...sorry.

Urban Meyer Polk Theater

This Monday I had the honor of seeing one of the best college football coaches of my time. Last May Urban Meyer was scheduled to attend a speaking engagement/fund raiser for the Polk County Gator Club ,but was monsooned out. Since Polk county football appears to have a pipeline to UF, I believe he felt he might want to throw us a bone. So he returned for another try.
The event started out with a raffle of various signed memorabilia and then moved into some alum and booster speeches. Then came the VP of athletics promotion to get everyone hyped before Coach Meyers came out. He did his shpeel about the coach and then showed an awesome video. The video was a montage of plays from the previous season and locker room jumping around set to rap music...it was bad ass. Urban then came out cracked some jokes and ran through the roster a bit. He then showed a video about leadership featuring President Obama. The video was taken from the teams visit to the White House after they won the National Championship this year. It was also a highlight reel of both the SEC Championship and the Orange Bowl. When that was over Coach Myer broke into his motivational mode and told the story of Black Hawk Down. He invited the commander of that mission to speak to the team this year in the off season to set the tone for the upcoming season. The gist was that you have to prepare for the tough times and hope for the best. The whole thing was short sweet and to the point. I imagine the guy is pretty busy seeing as how we are less than 50 days away from the start of the season. So it was pretty nice of him to take the time.
It's not hard for me to get excited for Florida Football, but this event just made it a little easier. Go Gators

Donkey Punch

If you ever wondered what a Donkey Punch was...

Movie Review: The Soloist

The Soloist is a story of a schizophrenic music savant and his friendship with a LA Times reporter. The film is based on a true story and stars Jamie Fox and Robert Downey Jr. The acting in this movie is impeccable but the direction is suspect. Fox and Downey continue to crank out Oscar worthy performances and don't show signs of letting up any time soon. If not for over reaching by the director this would be a must see Oscar hopeful of 2010. The director, not for a lack of trying, tries to take us into the mind of the schizophrenic. There is a light show in the middle of the movie that goes a little long and these loud fits that make me want to FFW. It ruins the tempo of the movie, where you should be feeling sorry for Fox's character, you want to push him in front of a car. There is a point in the movie where Downey's character ominously says that if the story were made into a book there would be no ending. Low and behold this prophecy comes true, only instead of a book it's a 2 hour movie. Final thoughts, this movie is a pass for me. You can see the superb acting in the 20 second preview. Leave it at that. I'll give it 2.5 jars of a homeless crazies piss

Recipe: Easy Asian Pockets

For a couple of years my wife and I were buying those little recipe books from the checkout isle just to try some different meals. I found this one and it was an instant favorite.
Ingredients: 2 Boneless Chicken Breasts, 1 packet of Chicken Flavored Ramen Noodles, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, 8 .oz can of pineapple chunks, Water, 1 Red & 1 Green Bell pepper, four 1'x1' sheets aluminum Foil.
Cook Chicken (Grill or Pan cook), cut into chunks

In a cup in a half container add the spice packet from the noodles, the pineapple juice from the can of chunks, 2 Tbs of soy sauce and enough water to make the other ingredients equal 1 1/2 cups.

Shape aluminum foil into a bowl. Split the noodle square into two pieces and place a half in the bottom of the pocket. Split the cut up chicken and bell peppers into the two separate bowls. Add the liquid and seal up the bowls.

Place the pockets on top shelf of your grill @ med low heat and close the lid. Rotate after 10 minutes and remove after another 10 mins.


Dump the contents of the pocket into a bowl and enjoy.

Movie Review: Bruno

The streak is over...thank you Sasha Baron Cohen. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever enjoy going to the movies again. I'm still getting shit because I didn't think the Hangover was that great...I am willing to give it another shot now that I am feeling better. It still surprises me that, at this day in age, people will still walk out of a movie. We have Rotten Tomatoes, movie trailers, news papers and the internet to inform us about what we are about to watch. Are there still people out there that walk up to a theater and just give it a little "eeni meeni mynee moe?" The people in my theater edured some of the worst stuff only to leave when the movie starts to lose it's shock. Not to say it's any less shocking at any point but you certainly become desisitized after seeing five minues of pigmy f-ing. This movie, much like Borat, is only for people who "get it." Cohen is just having fun of at the expense of all of us, which is exactly why he is so brilliant. The movie is not quite as good as Borat but it is still worth seeing. Final thoughts...see this movie, not for the dancing penis, do it to hear the groans as people walk out in discust. Also, If you liked Borat and Bruno you need to go rent Da Ali G Show it is better than either movie. I'll give it 4 uncomfortable homophobes walking out

Chad's Famous Hot Wings: Grilled

I have perfected a wing recipe years ago. Until today I have always fried the chicken first. Since I try to eat healthy as much as possible, I figured I would try my sauce out on some grilled chicken wings. They turned out like I thought they would...damn good!
Ingredients: Chicken wings, Frank's Red Hot, butter, honey
I use the chicken wing recipe on the back of the bottle of the Frank's. To give it that extra something I add about 2 Tbs of honey. Add or subtract butter to adjust the heat. Bam...there ya go.






-- Post From My iPhone

Healthy Big Kahuna Burgers

This tasty recipe came to me while trying to spruce up a normal turkey burger. Although Julse Winnfield never tells us whats in a Big Kahuna Burger, this can't be far off.

Ingredients: 1 lb of Ground Turkey, Lawrey's Teriyaki Marinade, 2% Smoked Provolone Cheese, 1 Can Sliced Pineapple, Ketchup and Whole Wheat Hamburger Buns


Prep: Mix 3/4 cups of Marinade and Ground Turkey. Let sit in fridge for an hour.
Cooking: Heat your grill or frying pan on medium. Form ground turkey into four uniform patties. Cook until meat is brown throughout or about 15-20 minutes. Place four slices of pineapple on the grill about 10 minutes before the burgers are to come off. Cook pineapple 3 minutes each side.

Place pineapple on the burgers when done and cover with cheese. Remove the burgers when cheese is melted. Slap this stunning concoction between two buns...hahaha. "mmmm...That is one tasty burger."

And no Julse, you can not have a sip of my beverage to quench your thirst. "What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak english in What?"