Movie Review: World's Greatest Dad

HDNET is owned by the same company as Magnolia Pictures. In an attempt to gain subscribers, they show a sneak preview on their movie channel of upcoming limited theatrical releases. This month’s movie is called “World’s Greatest Dad”. The movie is written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, yes the guy from Police Academy is making movies. The movie stars Robin Williams as a single parent, aspiring writer, high school teacher with a porn addicted shithead of a son named Kyle. **SPOILER ALERT** The ass hole kid dies from auto-erotic asphyxiation (jerking to up-skirt pics of his dad’s girlfriend) and the “World’s Greatest Dad” covers it up to make it look like a suicide. When the phony suicide note is released to the school populous, the once hated Kyle becomes the most popular kid in school. Robin capitalizes on this new found popularity and ghost writes Kyle’s journal which rockets him into stardom.
**SAFE TO READ**
Robin Williams delivers yet another great performance. This movie has some great characters, a great story and never hesitates to go where conventional films will not. Final thoughts rent this movie if you can, because it is likely there will not be a wall of copies at Blockbuster. I will give it 4 out of 5 German Shizer Videos.

Drink Recipe: Dirty Bananas

While on my vacations to Jamaica I picked up this recipe for a great summer drink. Enjoy

Ingredients:
1 ounce rum-based coffee liqueur
1 ounce rum cream (hard to find)
2 ounces milk
1/2 ounce simple syrup (a mixture of 1/2 water and 1/2 sugar that is simmered until sugar is dissolved)
1/2 banana (ripe)
1 cup ice

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a blender. Blend for 1 minute, or until desired consistency. Serve in a frosted mug.

TV Review: Shark Tank

I normally veg out the last few hours of the weekend on my couch in preparation for the weekend. It’s always a struggle to find something to watch this time of year. I stumbled upon this new summer replacement on ABC called the Shark Tank. The show places desperate entrepreneurs in front of a panel of blood thirsty investors. You might think the fact that these people are on television would make the want to cut honest deals with these people…not a chance. If they aren’t berating someone for wasting their money on a stupid idea they are presenting them with unreasonable investment deals. Much like a shark they can smell blood a mile away. The sadist in me loves this. Example: There was a 30 something school teacher who had invented a teaching tool. The tool utilizes songs he wrote to teach Shakespeare over rock style music. The entire teaching tool was complete; booklets, teachers manual, music and all. He was looking for 500,000 dollars for 15% of the business. The counter offer was 500,000 and 5% of royalties on the music he wrote and composed for 100% of the company spread across the entire panel. One of the panelist piped up with another offer, much to the chagrin of the other panelists. His rational was that their offer was absurd and that the guy would never be stupid enough to take it. Mind you this is all said in front of the teacher. He walked away to think, came back and made another counter offer to which the panel quickly dismissed. The panel saw that this man truly desired to be rich. So much so that he was willing to give up all of his hard work so quickly to get there. The worst thing was how they discussed how much of a stupid bad deal that was for that guy as they slapped fives. Check it out for yourself. It’s an interesting show, but I don’t think it will be on for long.

Anna Maria Surf

Here is a little video I made out of the pics and video I took on Sunday before we left the island. The surfers were out in full for due to the depression that formed that night. These guys arn't exactly shredding it up but it's still cool. I put a live cut of Sublime's "Bad Fish" underneath so crank up your speakers.

Movie Review: District 9

After much thinking, I am ready to give my review of District 9. My friend texted me right after I had seen it and all I could say is that it was very cool. Amber’s opinion was that it was weird. I agreed with her, but weird does not always equal bad. Now that I have given the movie sufficient time to set in I am going to say I liked it…a lot. It is probably one of my top five of the year. The story is very original, the effects are cool and I really like that South African accent (like a cross between Australian and French/German). The hesitation in my feelings comes from a couple of things. The lead character becomes infected by alien DNA and sets the movie into this manic tail spin. This, along with the inconsistency of camera styles wore me out. The director meshes documentary/interview, CCTV and third person styles of filming and it takes a little time to get used to. After you see your first guy get vaporized, you notice this less and less. District 9 will not have you leaving the theater with the warm and fuzzies, (no Randy Quade yelling “I’m back” while kamikaze style blowing up a spaceship) but it will have you thinking about what it was you just saw.
Side story…I saw some friends of mine walk into the theater and Amber did the whole “Hey I know you” thing. When the movie was over we waited for them to come out, but they never did. I texted her to see what happened and she said she walked out within the first 10 minutes. She said it was the worst movie she had ever seen. Lesson: I know now to never ask for her opinion on movies.
Final thoughts…go see this movie, but stay longer than 10 minutes even if you start to feel the urge to leave(crazy ass women). I give this movie 4.5 popping aborted prawn babies

Review: Revolutionary Road

If you like your movies incredibly depressing (i.e. Requiem For A Dream), Revolutionary Road will be right up your alley. This dark period piece could be a peak into the married life of any of us. It's about a couple stuck in the monotony of suburban life. The main characters even describe it as hopeless emptiness. A wannabe actress, a smooth talker in a dead-end job along with their seldom seen two kids are struggling to find their true happiness. To break free of their self imposed shackles they devise a plan to run off to Paris. This is where the fun of the movie occurs. The arguments feel just a little over the top at times but they keep you engrossed. Of the big name cast members, it's actually the "mentally ill" son of Kathy Bates character that stole the show for me.
Final thoughts...if you are in the mood for a good old fashion writs cut, rent Revolutionary Road. I'll give it 4 self administered abortions

Review: Funny People

First impression, I really liked this movie. It has it all. It's vulgar, a little dark, it invokes emotion and it has a pretty good story. Now let me add my real two cents. (SPOILER ALERT) They should have killed George off. That would have ended the movie about an hour sooner which they needed to any way. No comedy should ever be two and a half hours long...period. Apatow's first, The 40 Year Old Virgin, clocks in at just over two hours and I remember thinking that shit was too long as well. That being said, I would not have killed off the main character just to end to movie sooner. It makes the whole thing more memorable. You would have everyone in that theater walking out with tears in their eyes like Adam Sandler had really died. You play a little montage of funny moments over some good music as the credits roll to lighten it up a bit and BAM.... People would be talking about it all the way to their cars. Instead people are just wondering where the hell they parked because they have been in a movie theater for two and a half damn hours.
Final thoughts...go see this movie, just make sure your significant other takes the "big purse" and fills it with plenty of snacks. I'll give it 4 quick trips to the bathroom
Don't forget to Check out the Raaaaaaaandy stuff.

Zom-Com story board for London's bitch ass

This is my rebuttal video to London's story board...sorry.

Urban Meyer Polk Theater

This Monday I had the honor of seeing one of the best college football coaches of my time. Last May Urban Meyer was scheduled to attend a speaking engagement/fund raiser for the Polk County Gator Club ,but was monsooned out. Since Polk county football appears to have a pipeline to UF, I believe he felt he might want to throw us a bone. So he returned for another try.
The event started out with a raffle of various signed memorabilia and then moved into some alum and booster speeches. Then came the VP of athletics promotion to get everyone hyped before Coach Meyers came out. He did his shpeel about the coach and then showed an awesome video. The video was a montage of plays from the previous season and locker room jumping around set to rap music...it was bad ass. Urban then came out cracked some jokes and ran through the roster a bit. He then showed a video about leadership featuring President Obama. The video was taken from the teams visit to the White House after they won the National Championship this year. It was also a highlight reel of both the SEC Championship and the Orange Bowl. When that was over Coach Myer broke into his motivational mode and told the story of Black Hawk Down. He invited the commander of that mission to speak to the team this year in the off season to set the tone for the upcoming season. The gist was that you have to prepare for the tough times and hope for the best. The whole thing was short sweet and to the point. I imagine the guy is pretty busy seeing as how we are less than 50 days away from the start of the season. So it was pretty nice of him to take the time.
It's not hard for me to get excited for Florida Football, but this event just made it a little easier. Go Gators

Donkey Punch

If you ever wondered what a Donkey Punch was...

Movie Review: The Soloist

The Soloist is a story of a schizophrenic music savant and his friendship with a LA Times reporter. The film is based on a true story and stars Jamie Fox and Robert Downey Jr. The acting in this movie is impeccable but the direction is suspect. Fox and Downey continue to crank out Oscar worthy performances and don't show signs of letting up any time soon. If not for over reaching by the director this would be a must see Oscar hopeful of 2010. The director, not for a lack of trying, tries to take us into the mind of the schizophrenic. There is a light show in the middle of the movie that goes a little long and these loud fits that make me want to FFW. It ruins the tempo of the movie, where you should be feeling sorry for Fox's character, you want to push him in front of a car. There is a point in the movie where Downey's character ominously says that if the story were made into a book there would be no ending. Low and behold this prophecy comes true, only instead of a book it's a 2 hour movie. Final thoughts, this movie is a pass for me. You can see the superb acting in the 20 second preview. Leave it at that. I'll give it 2.5 jars of a homeless crazies piss

Recipe: Easy Asian Pockets

For a couple of years my wife and I were buying those little recipe books from the checkout isle just to try some different meals. I found this one and it was an instant favorite.
Ingredients: 2 Boneless Chicken Breasts, 1 packet of Chicken Flavored Ramen Noodles, 2 tablespoons soy sauce, 8 .oz can of pineapple chunks, Water, 1 Red & 1 Green Bell pepper, four 1'x1' sheets aluminum Foil.
Cook Chicken (Grill or Pan cook), cut into chunks

In a cup in a half container add the spice packet from the noodles, the pineapple juice from the can of chunks, 2 Tbs of soy sauce and enough water to make the other ingredients equal 1 1/2 cups.

Shape aluminum foil into a bowl. Split the noodle square into two pieces and place a half in the bottom of the pocket. Split the cut up chicken and bell peppers into the two separate bowls. Add the liquid and seal up the bowls.

Place the pockets on top shelf of your grill @ med low heat and close the lid. Rotate after 10 minutes and remove after another 10 mins.


Dump the contents of the pocket into a bowl and enjoy.

Movie Review: Bruno

The streak is over...thank you Sasha Baron Cohen. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever enjoy going to the movies again. I'm still getting shit because I didn't think the Hangover was that great...I am willing to give it another shot now that I am feeling better. It still surprises me that, at this day in age, people will still walk out of a movie. We have Rotten Tomatoes, movie trailers, news papers and the internet to inform us about what we are about to watch. Are there still people out there that walk up to a theater and just give it a little "eeni meeni mynee moe?" The people in my theater edured some of the worst stuff only to leave when the movie starts to lose it's shock. Not to say it's any less shocking at any point but you certainly become desisitized after seeing five minues of pigmy f-ing. This movie, much like Borat, is only for people who "get it." Cohen is just having fun of at the expense of all of us, which is exactly why he is so brilliant. The movie is not quite as good as Borat but it is still worth seeing. Final thoughts...see this movie, not for the dancing penis, do it to hear the groans as people walk out in discust. Also, If you liked Borat and Bruno you need to go rent Da Ali G Show it is better than either movie. I'll give it 4 uncomfortable homophobes walking out

Chad's Famous Hot Wings: Grilled

I have perfected a wing recipe years ago. Until today I have always fried the chicken first. Since I try to eat healthy as much as possible, I figured I would try my sauce out on some grilled chicken wings. They turned out like I thought they would...damn good!
Ingredients: Chicken wings, Frank's Red Hot, butter, honey
I use the chicken wing recipe on the back of the bottle of the Frank's. To give it that extra something I add about 2 Tbs of honey. Add or subtract butter to adjust the heat. Bam...there ya go.






-- Post From My iPhone

Healthy Big Kahuna Burgers

This tasty recipe came to me while trying to spruce up a normal turkey burger. Although Julse Winnfield never tells us whats in a Big Kahuna Burger, this can't be far off.

Ingredients: 1 lb of Ground Turkey, Lawrey's Teriyaki Marinade, 2% Smoked Provolone Cheese, 1 Can Sliced Pineapple, Ketchup and Whole Wheat Hamburger Buns


Prep: Mix 3/4 cups of Marinade and Ground Turkey. Let sit in fridge for an hour.
Cooking: Heat your grill or frying pan on medium. Form ground turkey into four uniform patties. Cook until meat is brown throughout or about 15-20 minutes. Place four slices of pineapple on the grill about 10 minutes before the burgers are to come off. Cook pineapple 3 minutes each side.

Place pineapple on the burgers when done and cover with cheese. Remove the burgers when cheese is melted. Slap this stunning concoction between two buns...hahaha. "mmmm...That is one tasty burger."

And no Julse, you can not have a sip of my beverage to quench your thirst. "What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak english in What?"

Independence Grillin'

Last week, leading up to the Fourth, I grilled out every day except for one. I felt like I needed to feel out my newly purchased grill before I fed others from it. According to my wife, I made some of the best steak she has ever eaten. I think I really like this grill.
I have been practicing my rib making over the past five months using other peoples grills when I could. This quest came from attending the Lakeland Pig Fest (best BBQ ever). The ribs there sent me into such euphoria I knew I could not wait a whole year before having them again. I've tried to find good ribs from a restaurant but they just didn't do it for me. So, I started to read articles on the Internet about how to get the best fall off the bone ribs without having a pit or smoking grill. I believe I have found the perfect method. My guests this past weekend can attest to that.
Ingredients: 1 rack of Pork Spare Ribs, 1 can of Chef Paul's BBQ Magic and 1 Bottle of Good Sweet BBQ sauce (your choice)
Prep the Ribs by removing the "membrane" on the back of the ribs (very IMPORTANT)

You should also scrape most of the fat from between the rib bones with a fork. Once you have trimmed off most of the fat you are ready to season. Roll out enough aluminum foil to wrap around the ribs so that you can seal them. Liberally sprinkle the BBQ Magic on both sides of the Ribs.

Seal them in the aluminum foil, throw them in your oven (top rack) and Bake 225 for about 2 1/2 to 3 hours minimum. Don't worry; they will not dry out. In fact, beware of the juices that will be retained in the foil when they are done. Now that we have oven roasted the hell out of some ribs, they are ready for the grill. Set the grill on low heat and slap those puppies on there. Baste them in BBQ sauce turning every couple minutes and adding more sauce for about 15 minutes. Careful though, as the meat will be tender and will want to fall apart while flipping. The larger ribs will hold together a bit better, so flip from there.

If these ribs don't make you want to "slap yo mama" you've done something wrong. Enjoy

Movie Review: Public Enemies

Johnny Depp, Christian Bale and a bunch of other familiar faces in the story of a charismatic modern day Robin Hood directed by Michael Mann. Looks great when you put it like that, which is why I decided to check it out. The movie never really pulls you in. It plays out like; jail break, bank robbery, love story, bank robbery, jail break, bank robbery, Dillinger gets blasted. Oops...did I give away the ending? BTW...the ship sinks at the end of Titanic. This movie might be good for history buffs of the depression era, like the majority of movie goers are. It seems to imply a certain amount of knowledge into the subject before entering the theater, which I had little of. The style of direction is very familiar (see Collateral, great movie IMO. Tom Cruise plays a great crazy person...go figure). I am a fan of originality in film direction so I give it points for trying, but I think it works sometimes in this film and others is just too much. No complaints in the acting, how could I. Yet again I am disappointed by my movie going experience but this time I won't blame the Meningitis. I would say if you have the History Channel locked in at home you may want to check it out, all others wait to watch it on cable TV.

Fireworks

View from Lake Gibson on the forth... Not too shabby.





-- Post From My iPhone

Long weekend

It's 7:00 pm on Friday. I am waiting on Amber to finish getting ready to go downtown to meet some friends and eat. Thus far I have played golf, eaten at the newly opened Hooters on the noth side of Lakeland and cleaned my house in prep for company tomorrow. It's first Friday and fireworks at the lake downtown, so it's going to be busy. I have some ribs and corn on the cob ready for grilling tomorrow. It will be nice to get out on the boat.


-- Post From My iPhone

Is it me?

The show is over. It was a great success. After a long day of
entering orders in the room that resembled a basement, I was ready to
let loose. Everyone else was rearing to go as well. I enjoyed a mass
produced dinner and a magic show(pictured above) and a few free
drinks. After the prizes were given out we grabbed a drink and played
some mini golf at the hotel. We then headed up to the piano bar in
the hotel. I was sure I would see some craziness...no luck. I saw a
few people that were feeling no pain but nothing to write about. I
milked a couple of drinks but tempered myself throughout the night.
We called it a night at about last call. Before sleep I asked my wife
why nobody got crazy. She believes that it is somewhat my fault. I
have not been in a partying mood since the meningitis. I would not
mind being the sober one that gets to laugh at the drunk asses for
once. It seems though that unless I let loose, the people around me
do not feel so inclined. WTF is that shit? I guess it's better that
nothing too crazy happened. Or did it? I'm sure I will hear some
stories but it's not the same as being there.

Order Entry

This is where we will process orders taken on the floor.

Tool Expo Weekend

Every year my company puts on a tool expo. It is a pretty big
undertaking. This will be my second year attending. The real action
is after the show. They put us up in a hotel usually on site which
means no driving, which means people getting their drink on. Last
year was pretty out of control. I anxious to see the shenanagas that
ensue this year. I'll post some pics if I can sneak some.

Sent from my iPhone

New Grill

I have been into grilling for a quite some time. When I was in the Air Force we grilled on the reg. I have recently been working on perfecting my rib cooking skills, which are coming right along..IMO. The problem was that the grill I used in Kansas was kaput, living the remainder of it's life in a land fill. It was cheap and I did not take care of it as well as I should have. So, since the forth is around the corner and my wife gave her blessing, I started looking for a replacement. I found the Char Griller Grilln Pro Gas Grill on the Lowe's web site. It had some good reviews and supposedly made some top ten list of grills. I know, gas is not for real BBQ'ers, but I will use this grill a lot. Probably more than my stove. At least I used to back when I had a grill. There is an option to add a fire box/charcoal grill that mounts to the side. Yet another reason why I chose this grill. I decided to stop by Lowe's on my way back from lunch to see if they had one available. Lucky me, they had one and it was already assembled. Whoopty whoop. I am now ready to get my grill on...biotch.

The Perfect Day

My wife sent me this link to an article the other day about a Big Lebowski themed barber shop @ Channelside, Tampa. How bad ass would that be? It got me thinking of what an awesome day it would be to get a shave and a haircut while enjoying a cold beer. Then it would only be a short trip to one of my all time favorite places to eat...Stump's Supper Club. Not only does Stump's have buckets of Long Island Iced Tea, felt Elvis paintings and live band Karaoke, they serve fried chicken and waffles. This also got me thinking. If I were plan out the perfect day for myself, what would I do? Hmmm...Okay, I would wake upat a decent time, I don't like to sleep in, have breackfast in bed. Maybe a Moons over My Hammy from Denny's. I would then play 18 holes at a decent course stopping halfway for a beer or two. Take a shower and maybe sneek in a nooner. Lunch would have to be @ my local hang out The Gym in DT Lakeland. They have the best balckened fried chicken wings. I would play a few holes of Golden Tee while I waited for my food. After that, I think I would head down to the Loebowski barber shop and Stump's like I said before. Right around the corner from Stump's is a Piano Bar that is an absolute blast. If time and space were not an issue there would be something in there about going to The Swamp, tailgating and seeing the Gators trounce the Noles. So, okay it may not be the perfect day but it would be a pretty damn good one.

6/23/2009 Review: The Hangover

I felt compelled to see the breakout comedy hit of the summer this weekend. I thought the previews looked funny and the fact that it was the #1 movie two weeks in a row, I figured it would be pretty damn good. I have to preface this with a disclaimer. I have been somewhat cranky over the past month so take this with a grain of salt, but I did not find the movie as funny as everyone else has told me it is. Don't get me wrong, I laughed, just not that often. For that matter I don't recall the rest of the theater laughing that often either. It's not a bad movie by any stretch, it just did not live up to the hype. I am willing to except that it may be the meds or the mood I have been in lately, but i can't give this movie my seal of approval.

6/22/09 Meningitis

OK...so about three weeks ago I made a little trip to my local emergency room at the behest of my wife. I had what I could only describe as a severe migraine. To my knowledge I have never had a migraine before so when it did not go away after two days I figured something might be wrong.

Just to give you some background on myself. I rarely, if ever get sick. I have never broken a bone or needed stitches. Short of being born I have never spent more than a few hours in a hospital. I have been living in the same place for 5 years now and until recently settled on a primary care physician. It's not that I don't care about my health I just don't think I am vulnerable. Boy was I wrong.

So, I am in the ER and the doctor orders a "LP" or commonly known as a Spinal Tap. This is the only way to test for Meningitis. It sounds scarier than it is. They make you sit up and hunch your back over. The area is numbed with lidocaine which hurts like hell but for only a few seconds. In fact the LP was over so fast I was not aware the needle was in my back. The doctor warned me about this "spinal headache" and so did the nurse. He explained it would be worse than the pain I was already in from the meningitis...I told him I doubted that as the pain was already at a 10. Hospitals use this 1-10 scale to rate pain, I became very used to this routine as this let the nurses know when to give me my morphine. BTW!!! WOW!!! That shit is crazy. The first time the nurse feed it into my IV I was like, 'what is that?" She said "morphine", like it was nothing. I was in so much pain that I didn't care what they put in me. A tingle shot through my entire body, the pain faded but my chest felt like it was collapsing and made me cough for air. This turned into just a mellow overall feeling of euphoria that lasted about three hours. To my disappointment the nurse could not give me more until four hours had elapsed. Which meant I had to feel the head pain again for about a half an hour. This pain was so bad that when they transferred me and I didn't have the morphine, it made me vomit. Fun, right?

So the doc confirmed that I did indeed have viral meningitis which can be very bad if untreated. I was given a good dose of antibiotics and fluids to cure me. After being admitted on late Wednesday, missing a wedding I was supposed to attend in Wichita, I was released on Sat afternoon. I can no longer claim to be a super human that is invulnerable to ailments. Bummer.

With a weeks worth of pain meds in hand I returned home and to work the following Monday. Upon leaving the hospital the doc said the head pains should be gone in about a week. HUH. I wish. In fact as I write this three weeks later I am still in a bit of discomfort. So the week I returned to work was going okay until Thursday. I came in, started to feel a strong headache come on and then some nausea. I promptly headed home and laid down for a couple of hours. I returned to work once I felt better and stuck it out. I tried again on Friday only this time I managed to vomit on a laptop I was working on. This time I could not quite recover from this by taking a nap. I figured out that if i sat up or stood for more than 15 minutes a t a time I would get head pain and nausea. This is what is known as a "Spinal Headache".

I made an appointment with a doctor since the pain did not go away over the weekend. On my way to the appointment my wife mentioned that she heard from someone at work that this is common when having an LP or an epidural. Apparently the site of the puncture can take a while to heal and cause these symptom due to a leaking of spinal fluids. This can be remedied by preforming a blood patch. We mentioned this to the doctor which he dismissed since he though it was not likely. He ordered more useless expensive tests that came back negative. The doc suggested I see a neurologist, which could not see me for another couple of weeks. This was maddening considering i was burning through my paid time off just laying on my back. Not my idea of a good use of vacation time. My wife and I became very familiar with the nurses at the hospital since we were calling every few hours for some answers. We brought up the blood patch as an option that we self diagnosed and thankfully a nurse felt my pain. She put me in contacted with an anesthesiologist. Hallelujah! He said I was not a candidate for a blood patch...DOH...but with some pain meds, fluids and lots of caffeine I would be able to return to the living.

So here I am, still taking the meds, yoked on caffeine and peeing every half hour. It's better than using up all of my PTO at home watching the Travel Channel.